MC Divorce: Leaving the Sucka’s Behind

Anyone who has ever left an MC can tell you the process of separation can be as painful as actual divorce from a spouse and in some cases the experience can be worse. After all, you’re not leaving one person but rather a group of people with whom for the longest time you had committed yourself to. Whether you invested your time, money, sweat and tears the process of removing yourself from your MC family is often a difficult one and often embroiled in anger, pain and bad feelings.

For better or for worse, since its inception Sucka Free MC has been responsible for thirteen such divorces including my own. After a particularly painful phone call last week where a female rider cried on the phone with me after the realization that her club was actually a Sucka MC, she understood she had to turn in her rags.  After that call I realized with all good conscience that Sucka Free MC had to address the very painful topic of MC Divorce and Leaving the Sucka’s Behind. Statistics state the number one cause of divorce in America is money but the number one ‘cause of divorce in an MC are sucka’s. Well consider Sucka Free MC your online MC divorce consultation source.   

I had never spoken to her before though we’ve been Facebook friends for quite some time. She had been an ardent supporter of Sucka Free MC and based on her posts she shared a passionate equivalent passion and obsessiveness with MC purity as the staff of Sucka Free MC. So, when she started to truly analyze her own MC and hold it up to the criteria that we had agreed on as being the true litmus test of a real MC, the cracks in the sidewalk began to grow.  One of the worst parts of discovering the bullshit in a relationship is the very first whiff because that initial shatter is the indication that eventually it will fall to pieces. Think about it. When you see a crack in a drinking glass you don’t keep drinking out of it. You curse the crack and you throw the glass out.

Real bikers need to have that same resolve when exorcising ourselves from Sucka MC’s.

An MC is about brotherhood and the chains that bind. If there is a weak link eventually that MC will fall apart. I have always preached you cannot have bikers in a club and non-bikers in a club. It does not work. Brotherhood in an MC begins and continues in the love of the ride and for clubs to allow members who "I can't do long rides" or "I don't wanna ride today" attitudes are not only exposing their weak link internally, but they're encouraging it by not demanding change from those members. (I'm digressing and I'm actually sharing some of the reasons why I had to divorce myself from my former club but more on that later)

Her MC allowed certain members in the club to wear rags that were bedazzled with gems. Their club was no longer as interested in rides opting instead to ride to the next party or local function and full participation was lukewarm at best.  What really brought this young lady to the edge however were club members refusing to ride their respective irons. How do you have a motorcycle club where members are showing up to bike events in cars? How do you have a motorcycle club where members deem two hour rides as trips and too long for them to bother when they can get there more comfortably in a car?How do you have a bike club where church isn't about riding or trips but about the next party or event for the club to make money?

This is the point in the marriage where you know you and your spouse are more roommates then lovers. It’s when you’re bored being bored and separate bedrooms aren’t just okay, but both of you actually prefer it that way. I say marriage and not relationship because in a marriage you have financial commitments and ties that bind legally. To sever those ties takes even more money and is considerably more painful than a dating situation. In an MC you’ve put in your time and spent money and when you realize that all that time and money was not time nor money well spent, it’s an incredibly empty feeling. It’s the start of regret and nothing in this world is more futile then regret.  You know you and your MC members have become bar mates (roommates) and not fellow riders when you meet more at the bar or the next party instead of on the road. When you start getting more texts to attend the next fish fry, bikini wash or bike blessing than actually riding the writing is on the wall.  If your team is no longer riding, the most integral part of the bike relationship is over. I know an MC (and I use that term loosely here) that spent more time on quads then they did their iron and didn't understand my disgust. They teased me saying, "You're too close minded, Preach. We still ridin'" To this day repeating that story makes me sick to my stomach. You and your MC have gone from being lovers to being familiar strangers. We are supposed to be united by our love of our motorcycles and riding and if you take that away, what do you truly have left?

As each relationship is different, signs of a pending divorce are different as well. In my case, I struggled with the insincerity (Christian way of saying bullshit) of the club and its leaders. I was told “We want to be a traditional club in every sense of the word” but when I moved in a traditional sense I was hit with, “Whoa, we don’t do that” or “I can’t ask my members to do that”. I honestly didn’t know what to do for a while. It was as if I woke up in Bitch City MC. One of the breaking points for me was, “We don’t need to follow tradition. We can start new traditions.”  Let me make something clear. To say something like that to a person like me who respects this community so much and the clubs and bikers who paved the way for me to do what I do now is like inviting the Pope to the Brooklyn Orgy Party in Bushwick. I was beyond disgusted. I knew I had made a grave mistake and I immediately corrected it. I had refused to wear my rags only a week or two after getting them and refused to wear them until the club agreed to abandon their Sucka MC mode of operation and lived up to what I was sold on. They refused and I rode away. I consider that to be the best decision I ever made in my MC life.

I have asked bikers and riders out there to live up to the principles of the old guard and preaching from the pulpit, I was not going to be greatest sinner of all; not when it came to this MC life. I was introduced to this life by Outlaws and like a child who is introduced to religion by their parents, the Outlaw way of life isn’t something that I see as a weekend activity like an obligatory Catholic holiday sighting. No, the Outlaw way of life is just that; it’s a way of life that you represent whether you’re wearing a three piece suit or your three piece patch. I have always been faithful to that philosophy and I have no intentions of ever cheating on my Outlaw principles.

I understand and actually appreciate the Outlaw way is not everyone’s way and it’s not meant to be. Just because you’re not Outlaw doesn’t make you any less of a biker or MC. In fact, I applaud people who understand the commitment Outlaws make and respect that commitment and stay in their lane. It’s the Sucka MC’s who are actively engaging in fuckery who are in the cross hairs of the OMC’s, the Dominants and people who truly love and respect this life that are the frauds and ultimately the problem. Most clubs are made up of WEAKend warriors; not weekend warriors. When you pretend to be Outlaw by dressing the part whether you’re wearing all black or worse, with your three piece patch but not living up to your three pieces you're a fraud. Let’s be clear on something. A three piece patch means in no uncertain terms that you are Outlaw. You CANNOT wear a three piece patch unless you are sanctioned by your dominant. If you are not sanctioned by your dominant and you’re wearing that patch you’re a fool, a fraud and a Sucka MC. Secondly, if you present yourselves like Outlaws and you get approached by Outlaws you had best react like Outlaws because if you don’t, not only will there be physical repercussions from your actions but it will be a humbling that will be felt digitally, physically, spiritually and mentally and I assure you, you and your team will not recover from it. And lastly, if you are not riding a Harley Davidson or at the very least an American bike, you cannot wear jewelry. That’s not my rule. That’s an MC rule. If a One Percenter comes across a diamond on your rags and you’re on a crotch rocket or a cruiser that’s not American, there’s a very good chance you and your club will be addressed. You can read into addressed any which way you want. 

Everything I just described above is Sucka MC bullshit. And that kind of bullshit leads to divorces.

When you present yourself like a true MC, a traditional MC club or an OMC, and you’re not, you’re not only lying to yourself but you’re lying to prospective members. You lie to people who believe your bullshit and become exposed to your comedy of lies in a way that can, and has resulted in ugly and sometimes violent divorces.

We all know that in life, divorces aren’t usually pretty. I’m convinced family court is one of the circles of hell Dante spoke about in his poem. There are lawyers, lying spouses and three sides to every story: his, hers and the truth and depending on how good the lawyers are, the truth may never even come out. A divorce is either get out with everything you came in with, something you came in with or fuck it, I just need to get out but one thing you definitely do leave behind is a piece of yourself.  

That’s no different than in an MC you’ve invested blood, sweat and tears in.

And now when you’ve come to the conclusion that the divorce must happen, we have to discuss the vest surrender. In family court this is where they bring you to the custody judge ‘cause no true parent wants to give up time with their children and if you’ve put in your time to get your rags, you’re not anxious to give them up, whether you’re in the club or not. You earned them and they’re yours. But the club is saying they legally own those rags and thus in lies the problem. Because so many clubs don’t do it right to begin with, when members were originally patched in they were asked to purchase their colors in addition to the dues they’ve already paid. Now, you’ve prospected for this outfit, you put in the time and now that you’re leaving they want you to give back your rags but the question is, since they want the rags back will they pay you your money back?  In a real club, you don’t pay for your rags. You earn your rags and you’re blessed with them. The ownership of the rags is not financial but rather blood, sweat and tears which is a clear distinction why in a REAL club rags are so treasured. Men had to go through hell to get them. Money comes and goes but the time invested will never come back. A real club has money and the dues you’ve put in towards prospecting have in part been going to the eventual rags you were going to be blessed with and whatever alcohol they may need to celebrate you patching into the club. If your club expects new members to pay for their own rags it’s an example of financial mismanagement and a lack of protocol that’s a sneak peek to the MC retardation that’s sure to follow.  

I know cases where an MC has sent their Sgt-of-Arms to go collect rags from a  member who had quit and things got violent because that member had been in the club for a decade and he wasn’t about to surrender his rags for no one. While I clearly understood his anger if the by-laws you agreed to say you must surrender those rags, then you’re bound to do it. Playing both sides of the fence however I don’t see why a club would enforce this rule so adamantly with a member of ten years unless that member was leaving in bad terms which this member wasn’t. He was just tired of the fuckery and just wanted to retire and hold onto his rags. (I guess when you call the President out for being a fuck-up you’re not leaving on good terms which may explain why the club wanted the patch back so bad) After a few threats and two sit downs he got to keep his rags. Once the decision was made for him to keep them he went out back and burned them. For him that was closure and fortunately for both parties, they worked it out so closure could happen because they were on course for a violent situation.

I read a great quote that said, "When you hold a grudge against someone, it's like holding a hot coal you intend to throw at your enemy. More then likely not only are you going to miss them if you throw it, but worse, you end up burning your own hand in the process." The point is (and believe me I can relate) just let it go. Whether that means those rags of the club you're no longer associated with, the angry or bitter reasons why you're leaving and anything and everything else-just let it go and move on. Admittedly, that's the hardest thing for me because if I could, I'd like to vent violently, but not only is that not protocol, it goes against who I am as a Christian who happens to be a biker. Violence IS the answer sometimes, but that's only when someone or something has asked the wrong question. In a situation where I've divorced myself from my previous MC brood, I need to accept the fact that I made a mistake, I've rectified that mistake and now being philosophical about it, I'm absolutely on the right track now.

I also have noticed if you come into a club wrong, then more then likely you're going to leave incorrectly too. If the club made you a member without prospecting or reduced your prospecting period 'cause they were so hard up to get you, then that's a club that cuts corners. If they cut corners there, they'll chop off corners other places and eventually you'll have a club left in little pieces. If they didn't respect protocol coming in, they're not going to respect protocol going out so be warned. In another blog I'll touch on how important prospecting is and what a prospect should be looking for when considering a club but having recently made the mistake myself, I can offer the advice that when you see things wrong while you're prospecting, those same things you saw will become things you are later. That simply means if it was broke before you got there, it's gonna be broke while you're there and more then likely it's gonna be broken while you're leaving and after you're gone so just avoid the divorce situation all together and don't get married. In this case, avoid the wrong MC all together.

I have a lot of respect for certain independent riders because I've found they actually love and respect the MC life more then a lot of the people actually in it. They respect it enough to stay out of it and if and when they do decide to take the plunge, they're doing their research and want that club to be the right one. Again, very smart because they've seen how ugly MC divorces can get so why do it? In "real" life you don't meet someone at the club Friday and marry then Saturday (well, unless you're in Vegas) so why would you approach your MC selection that way? 

Unless you’re a celebrity family divorces aren’t announced with the grandiose Twitter feed and People magazine cover story.  For most of us unfortunate to experience divorce, they’re a painful private matters whereas MC divorces are public mud-slinging prize fights where the people with the most FB friends are usually crowned “the winner” simply because they have more friends than the other person. Understandably, when feelings are hurt it’s hard not to share those angry emotions but reacting and moving in anger is as wise getting fellatio from a hungry cannibal. Members often have been so disgusted by their former clubs that they’ve simply phoned their resignations in or better yet, did it via text because they couldn’t be bothered. I’m not here to state whether that’s right or wrong but I would suggest the following:

If you’re leaving your MC because you’re convinced they’re a Sucka MC, you’re more than likely not the only member who thinks that. There are probably two or three who believe that as well but haven’t hit their wall of frustration yet as you have. Therefore I’d recommend during church where most, if not all the members are present to state your reasons before surrendering your rags and try to the best of your ability, to articulate your feelings. Clearly lay out the issues you’ve had, what you did to try to solve them and how they weren’t met to your satisfaction. If by the end of your case no one can provide you any rebuttal as to why your decision is not a good one, then you’ve truly done all you can do and you’ve been fair to not only the MC (and by doing so, closed out your relationship with a true sense of brotherhood) but you’ve also been fair to yourself. 

My name is Preacha and I live Sucka MC Free. I also happen to be a very good divorce attorney. Get at me if you need my services. I’m not cheap, but I’m very fuckin’ good.

Oh by the way, that young lady I started to tell you about in the blog who cried to me about dropping her rags-She’s now a member of the Sucka Free MC Nation riding independently with a smile on her face.

Stay Sucka MC Free, y’all