Sucka MC Free: Going Outlaw: From Minors to Majors

Sucka MC Free: Going Outlaw: From Minors to Majors: By: Stormy Weather OMC Club Name With held upon request In baseball, before most players’ can play in the big leagues, they mu...

Going Outlaw: From Minors to Majors

By: Stormy Weather OMC
Club Name With held upon request

In baseball, before most players’ can play in the big leagues, they must first go through what’s called the minor leagues. Essentially the minors are a place for young talented players’ to develop their skills and get used to playing at a higher level.  The MC world is like this in a lot of ways.  Before a person goes full on Outlaw they usually spend some time in a family club, riding club, mom and pop whatever you would like to call it.  Most outlaw bikers have been in previous minor league clubs until one day they decide enough is enough and go full on Majors.

For anyone who thinks this blog will dive deep into the inner workings of the Outlaw lifestyle and procedures for entry into an OMC, you can stop reading now and kick fucking rocks. This isn't an expose into our life.  What this blog is going to do is give you a straight fast ball with no splitter or curve and if you have the skills, you can try to connect and see where it gets you.

Right now, there is someone reading this blog thinking of moving from the mom and pop club level    (the Minors) and into the “Major Leagues”…The big bad OMC!  And to that person I say congrats. You finally grew a pair and now you wanna do something about it. But what would bring someone to this point? There are many reasons why a person would want to make the move up but I will only discuss the two most common.  First being they are currently in a “Sucka MC”.  Now let me take a moment to elaborate on the Sucka MC.  A Sucka MC is a club …not a motorcycle club because for one, they don’t all own motorcycles, but a club that does not know, follow or practice motorcycle club traditions and protocols.   They cannot answer simple questions like who blessed off your club, what type of club are you, what is the purpose of your club, so on and so forth. I’m not saying that these clubs are made up of certain individuals who can eventually can become major leaguers (outlaws) but collectively as a whole they’re just sucka’s. For example you have a team like the Boston Red Sox who have some really good players but collectively, they’re whack and their record shows that they're suckas. I’m sure there are certain players thinkin’, “I need to go to the Yankees.”  

My decision to go to the "Yankees" was a simple one not because I thought the outlaw lifestyle would be simple but because the depravity I saw in the circuit made it simple. Like most, I was involved in a club and my disgust with them was so overwhelming I decided that there was no logical reason I'd ever put my ass in position to experience something that bad again. I am a biker. I was born a biker and you join a club thinking you're about to be around other bikers. Maybe it was me making an ass of myself assuming they'd take the club and the life as seriously as me so in that regard I'll say, "my bad." I didn't understand why club members just got together on weekends, if that, but Monday through Friday wasn't an option. I didn't understand why the priority of the club at meetings was figuring out what the next party was going to be instead of the next (or in some cases the first) long ride. I didn't understand why certain people had bikes but others didn't. I didn't understand why people were allowed to trail their bikes to bike events. I didn't understand why the promise to uphold the bylaws of the club was seen as something you could opt in and out of to your pleasure. You see where I'm going with all this? I understand MC. I didn't understand jack shit about what they were doing and what made it worse, when I tried to move them in that direction I was called, "the hardliner" or I was repeatedly told, "I take this too seriously."

I take this too seriously?

It was then I started to understand that for them it was a recreational thing sorta like seasonal swimming. I"m not a seasonal biker. New York Yankee fan's don't think they're gong to the playoffs every year; they EXPECT to win the World Series every year. The playoffs are a formality. I wanted to feel like I was winning the World Series every time I rode with my brothers. I wanted to know that the men I was riding with took everything as seriously as I did from the way we looked, to what we wore to how we rode. I wanted to be with men who just didn't honor and respect the rules and traditions of an MC, but they lived by them. I wanted to be in the major leagues.

I'm not saying that if you're not an OMC you're not a real MC but let's not debate something: the OMC is the major leagues. It is the top of the biker food chain. Traditional clubs who follow and respect the rules and protocol and culture are Triple AAA (for those who don't know, that means you're good enough one day to be Majors and you're damn close but you're NOT the majors). In the majors you have everyone watching you and the expectations are higher and there are consequences for failure. There might be consequences in the minors but like in the majors, the consequences are major, good and bad and nothing else compares to those.

The second most common reason people decide to move up and I can personally identify with is, they have outgrown their club. There comes a time when a person has ran their course in a club and they want more, they want bigger, they want badder. You've tried to push your club to the highest point and they can't go any further for whatever reason. Because so many people are too scared to approach a Dominant they listen to the rumors and refuse to take that step. You're frustrated because the bike, the MC and the road have been your life at this point but for the members in your club it's just some pastime shit.   Please understand on the other side of the tracks it’s about riding your iron, being in a brotherhood, respecting the code and practicing it.  No one cares about the fish fry’s, car washes, bake sales, raffles and lastly yet another $30 ticket party. If you feel like you’ve out grown the mom and pop lifestyle and you want something more serious, there is nothing wrong with that. Truth be told, many have done the exact same before you.

So what does all this mean?

You’ve had it with your current club so what happens next?  Well, first and foremost you would need to drop your current club.  Remember, when leaving an MC, you have to leave in “Good Standing”.  This means dues/debts paid up and all property returned.  This includes all things that have the clubs logo on it: vests, t-shirts, socks, thongs whatever also to include all club documents and records.  If it has the clubs logo on it, which should be trademarked, it must go back. I even go so far to say give the riding name you were given back.  People tend to have a hard time with that but if you want to settle the debate go back to your by-laws. If the club is put together correctly then the by-laws should state what the protocol is for vest surrender and other merchandise deemed property of that club.

Next, get you an American made motorcycle. Do I really need to explain this? There’s been some debate about this but I want to lay it down now to make sure afterwards there’s no question. You cannot be an outlaw on anything but an American motorcycle. The go-to brand of course is Harley Davidson but certain clubs will make amendments for Indian’s, Victory and even Triumph though that’s becoming more and more unlikely as OMC’s are starting to crack down within their own ranks. The simple or not so simple reason for this is because Harley Davidson symbolizes not just a brand but a lifestyle. It’s a lifestyle that is rebellious, loud, in your face; in other words, American. You cannot be that on a Japanese bike. Hang on…let me rephrase to emphasize my point: YOU CANNOT BE IN A TRUE OUTLAW CLUB ON ANYTHING BUT AN AMERICAN MOTORCYCLE. Certain OMC’s have race divisions but even within that dynamic there are codes that separate the Harley riders and the Jap burners. Some call it divisions but if you look closely it is class division. Why? (and you see how this comes back full circle?-) YOU MUST OWN AN AMERICAN MOTORCYCLE.

No, okay moving on.  Before you make any decisions on where to go next do your homework! Remember this is a lifelong commitment. If you do your homework your first outlaw club should be your last stop. That’s not to make it sound dreadful or something dark or oblique but it’s the last stop as in it’s oblivion. That means it’s forever. You make a commitment to an outlaw club and it automatically becomes one of the top three most important things in your life along with your family and your job. Your MC is right up there and your family needs to understand that and support you and your job. Let’s just say a lot of those sick and personal days will be spent on the road or recovering at home from those long ass road trips and club business ’cause Outlaws do their business.

This isn’t the mom and pop world, you can’t be hopping around!

This blog is not a 101 to helping anyone make a decision to go outlaw. It may not even scrape the top of the cake but what it does do is begin the thought process or ends it. Remember some key points as well in thinking about going outlaw:

·           

Not all outlaw clubs are the same. You need to do your homework as much as you can before signing up with whatever club you go with. Some outlaw clubs live off their reputation and are okay with that. Some ride more than others. Some thug all day long. Make sure you know what you want in your outlaw club and make sure it lines up with the outlaw in you first.

·         Don’t believe the hype. Stop watching Gangland and A&E Outlaw biker episodes. Half of it ain’t true and the other half is bullshit the outlaws told the producers to make sure they never know the truth. Get out there and meet the people you want to call your brothers one day. You may find you may not want them in your family at all.

·         Talk to your significant other at length so she knows what you’re about to do ‘cause the biggest detriment to an outlaw isn’t the Po-Po, it’s the wife ‘cause her lack of support, her nagging and overall insecurities and need to compete with the club and your bike instead of trying to be a part of it can either drive an outlaw to do bad things or whup her ass.

·        
Oh by the way in case you were wondering and some of you were, women have never, will never, can never be outlaws. Let me make this as clear as possible. If you don't have a penis you cannot be an outlaw biker. We don't care how great a woman rides, how many dudes she's knocked out or shot; if you weren't born with a penis you cannot and will never be an Outlaw. Period. 

I did mention the American motorcycle, right?

so, now that we've got the basics covered I'm going the help make the decision for you if you're thinking about it: Don't do it! You ain't ready. Do you know what it's like to go to your boss and say you need two weeks off at work because you're going to do a mandatory ride with your brothers for 5,000 miles? How 'bout going home to your "other" boss and telling your wife that you're about to leave home for a week 'cause you're going riding with your brothers? Are you ready to ignore that feeling in your stomach that says don't walk into that bar because there's gonna be trouble but you gotta go because your colors don't forgive and they don't forget? Are you prepared for law enforcement to take pictures of you while you're just riding your motorcycle? Are you ready to be exposed to the primal aspects of life in general? Are you prepared to deal with men and women being equally attracted and repelled by you simply because of your rags?

Trust me, you ain't ready. 

But if for some reason you think you are. I wish you nothing but the best and good luck 'cause, honestly, you're gonna need it.  All clubs are different; don’t be in a rush, find the one that fits you.  Like the great Forest Gump once said “That’s all I have to say about that”.    

Oh yeah…stay Sucka Free, sucka’s!

Stormy Weather belongs to a 1% diamond club with chapters across the United States. His riding name has been changed and the name of his club with held as is the common practice with all contributions made by outlaw bikers to Sucka Free MC. 

Sucka MC Free: The Revenge of Little Sister: She got WHAT?! on he...

Sucka MC Free: The Revenge of Little Sister: She got WHAT?! on he...: Written by Bryte of B.R.A.T.S MC, QUEENS, NY  featuring PRECIOUS P-ONE of THE FLYING PANTHERS MC, KENTUCKY My name is Bryte and I...

The Revenge of Little Sister: She got WHAT?! on her back?!

Written by Bryte of B.R.A.T.S MC, QUEENS, NY 

featuring PRECIOUS P-ONE of THE FLYING PANTHERS MC, KENTUCKY

My name is Bryte and I have been on the set for close to 15 years.  My time has been divided as an Independent rider, a member of an all female club for close to 10 years and now my husband and I are currently in the B.R.A.T.S MC out of Queens, NY which is a co-ed club.   

I have been a supporter, committed reader and participant of the SUCKA FREE BLOG/MOVEMENT for the past 5 or 6 months.   We have talked about Protocol, pop up clubs, other entities, PRO’s, and a host of other very timely topics.  One of my favorite topics covered here and in many other groups that I belong to is women on the set.  These discussions have included female MC’s; whether women should rock MC on their cuts, and whether or not women have to follow the same protocols as men do when they are trying to come out on the set as a new club.  There is however one topic that has not yet been talked about on this blog and that is women who wear the designation ‘PROPERTY OF” on their cuts.  Disclaimer fam – I do not wear PROPERTY OF on my cuts, as I am a fully patched member of a co-ed club.  However this topic is very near and dear to my heart for a few reasons.  First I am a married to a man who wears MC on his cuts so I truly understand the mindset and philosophy, and second I completely respect and honor the tradition that has been in place long before we entered into this MC world. 

So this phrase PROPERTY OF….what exactly does it mean on the MC set?  Let’s look at history.  The men who started MC clubs had fought together in  WWII and had ridden motorcycles during the war and so basically they wanted to keep the traditions of this bond that they had formed, and thus starting these MENS CLUBS aka MCs.  So of course no women were allowed.  Now you may be wondering - these fellows just came home from war and it might seem only natural that they would want the company of women as much as possible.  WRONG!!!  Let’s face some facts that may be hard to swallow for some of the women who are reading this.  Whenever a woman comes into a mix of men and can have a say, their brotherhood is immediately in jeopardy.  Not totally the fault of the woman, but a mere fact.  The men sizing her up, she sizing them up next thing you know jealousy, envy and revenge are set in motion.  NO MORE BROTHERHOOD! True MC’s cannot take this risk.  So the “no women” policy makes perfect sense to me.  So it was decided at some point to allow women to be associated with the clubs by way of their husbands, significant others or men who sponsored them but not as members or full patch holders.  These women would be honored as “Property Of” their men or “Property of” the club.

I’m sure if you would go to any dictionary, you would find that the word Property is defined as something of value that one possesses either tangible, such as land, or intangible, such as patents, copyrights, etc.  So right there, many of you have already taken it and put a negative connotation on the word.  To those of you who feel that way before you read this complete blog, I will say we are not talking about academics here, we are not talking about Webster’s meaning  - we are talking about what PROPERTY OF means on the MC set because it is something totally different.

For those who are believers the Bible, we accept that the man is the head and we accept the same thing in the MC world.  It says in Ephesians 5:22-24 “wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the Savior of the body, therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything”.  Everything includes the MC world. 

My first exposure to women wearing that designation was when I attended the Round Up in Rockingham, NC in 2005.  I was down there with my cousin and his MC, who are traditionalists and I met these sisters.  These had to be some of the most interesting, together and straight up women I have ever met.  We ate, drank, slept and partied together for the entire week in that campsite and these women taught me the large majority of what I know today about MC protocol and culture.  When I asked them exactly what this PROPERTY OF on their cuts meant, one said to me that it meant FREEDOM.  I didn’t understand it on that day and I didn’t go any further with my questioning, however I have grown and matured in this MC world and now I get it.  But since I am not Property Of, I asked one of the most respected, knowledgeable and classy women on the set, who is PROPERTY OF THE FLYING PANTHERS MC out of KENTUCKY, if she would be so kind as to allow me to interview her to lend some authority and validity to this blog. 

Me:                  Hi Precious I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you about the topic of women being Property in the MC world.  So how long have you been with Flying Panthers MC and how did you become part of the club

Precious:        I’ve been with Flying Panthers MC about 17 years.  My husband’s father was the founder and so I was hanging around him (we weren’t married at the time)

Me:                  Did you know anything about being Property then?

Precious:        When I first came in I didn’t know too much but the older Property ladies of the club schooled me, and said this is how we do things,,  I pretty much hung up around my husband.  One of the ladies took me aside and gave me the rules.  One of the first things I was told is that I was a supporter.  I questioned why I couldn’t wear what he wore and she broke it down to me.  I was told a few others things that I can’t mention here and I said I could handle that.  We support our brothers in what they do in all aspects

ME:                  Ok so explain to our readers just what it means for a woman to be Property Of

PRECIOUS:      I would just say to sum it all up we are supporters.  One way or another.  We support our husbands, our boyfriends and our sponsors.   We back our men up so you know it’s like….well I don’t want to compare it to marriage.  We support them unconditionally we don’t have to think about it.  And they have never put us in any dangerous situation but we back our men up 100%. And they back us up 110% because they value us.  You know you take care of what you value whether it is your home or your car it’s your Property and you take care of it and it’s not looked at as a bad thing.  It’s your Property and you don’t let anyone do anything crazy to your Property

ME                   I have heard some women who are Property say that their vest is just like a wedding band

PRECIOUS       I guess there is a lot of truth to it.  But I guess the reason I don’t compare it to a wedding band to me because a woman will leave a club.  They will walk away from their club before they will walk away from their marriage. There are some comparisons but I was counseled not to allow the club to come before my marriage.  Unmarried women,  I can see how the vest is like a wedding band. 

ME                   Tell me about the women who wear Property of?

PRECIOUS       We are looked at differently than other women on the set.  We get a lot of respect from our brothers and brothers in other clubs.  Not every woman can wear Property.  Im head Property but I don’t tell my brothers what to do.  But they do value  my opinion.  Properties for us, you have to be respectable and if I am seeing something in one of the girls that I don’t like I will address it.  This is a responsibility that was given to me.  I will talk to the lady if I have a problem, I pretty much take care of the things that the men don’t want to deal with regarding the women, and it comes with a lot of responsibility.  I want people to see me for me and not judge me for what is on my back.

ME:                  What is the difference between being Property of a Club and Property of your Man?

PRECIOUS:      When a woman wears “Property of “her clubs name” it means they are

Not attached to a particular man in the club.  But it also does not mean they are attached to every man in the club either.  But we all are taken

care of the same way;  we all get the same amount  of respect from our club and other clubs

ME:                  There are so many negative stereo types attached to women who are Property of.   Let’s dispel some of them. 

                        Stereotype:  Women who are Property have low self-esteem

PRECIOUS:      Untrue!  My self-esteem is very high and I wear my Property patch proud. 

You have to have high self-esteem  in order to wear it.  You cannot feel down about yourself and be able to defend the wearing of the patch.    I feel worse about my weight than I do my patch. Lol  I feel that any woman who wears Property has to have high esteem in order to withstand all the negative  reaction you sometimes get.  And people who think negatively don’t have the courage to say it to our face. People try to make you feel like you shouldn’t wear Property.  It’s not the first thing I say to people but I will tell you because I am not ashamed of it.  I will never stand up against the wall to hide it If  you don’t like it,  it’s not my problem.

ME:                  Stereotype:  Women who wear Property get passed around by all the men in the club:

PRECIOUS:      Untrue!   As a matter of fact you don’t have to wear a Property patch to get passed around.    There are plenty of women who were no cuts at all and they get passed around.  And nobody has any issue with that.    I know women that are not Property in family clubs and sports bike clubs they get passed around.  I have seen it. But let’s just say a woman with a club Property patch on does want to be with multiple men in their club, if that is the case then that’s their business.

ME:                  Stereotype:  Women who are Property cannot own or ride their own bikes

PRECIOUS:      Untrue! I ride!  And I know other Property who ride and they are not riding bitch unless they choose to.

ME:                  What would you say are the advantages of being Property? 

PRECIOUS:      The advantages are that we are more respected than women on the set who ride with all female clubs or are in co-ed clubs.  Some people may call it fear because once men see my patch they don’t approach or go there with me.  So it is a feeling of freedom.   The freedom to me is when you are with your people.  When we are around people I move around with no worries.  It’s one of those things like when you are with your family they are your protection  your freedom is being part of a nation of women who wear Property patches and we are part of a larger nation.  I know some will look at it like we don’t get to do this and that that in our Nation, but  we are like their QUEENS!!  It’s like we support them 100%nd they support us 110%.  The freedom is in the wearing of the PROPERTY OF PATCH.

 

ME:                  And what are some of the disadvantages?

PRECIOUS:      I can’t think of any.

ME:                  What advice would you give a woman who has to decide if she wants to be                    Property of?

PRECIOUS:     Even if it is your husband boyfriend or just your “boo” I would still say be around the club and hang around and make sure.  I wouldn’t suggest just jumping in.  Hang around and get the feel.  Move around that person who wants you to be their Property.  If you have a sponsor, go with them to events and make sure that you talk to other properties.  The thing about a bunch of women, they won’t see eye to eye and get along about everything. But these are ladies you have to support your club with so Get to know them.  If I know that a sister has a sponsor in my club I will talk to her about what it is because I would rather her know the real deal.

ME:                 Why did you decide to be Property of the club and not your husband’s Property? How does he feel about that?

PRECIOUS:       Because I was Property of my club before we got married and he is ok with that.  My commitment to my husband is as his wife; my commitment as Property is to my club.  And my husband is NATIONAL PRESIDENT AND I AM FIRST LADY AND WE ARE ONE! lol That is even more protection for me.   First Lady is just that!  But I don’t need to wear a first lady patch.  I want people to first know me, when you know me then you will know my title.  I don’t want any kind of special treatment.   Treat me the way you treat the rest of my ladies.  Just get to know me first before you know the weight I carry.  When you see me I have the same thing on as my sister so you respect us equally.  I am a people person I am not going to push my title. I don’t want people to prejudge me.  If they know I’m Property first they may have negative preconceived notions that we discussed earlier.  The respect that we have from our brothers won’t allow us to act crazy. 

ME:                  Precious how you feel about female bikers?

PRECIOUS:      I have respect for them. I think it’s a beautiful thing.  They should know protocol.  I realize that being Property ain’t for everyone, but you should at least know about it.  The only thing I don’t like about female MCs are those who feel that the only thing that they have to do is ride.  You also need to know protocol.  When you know protocol and history they won’t be so ready to think being Property of is negative and always feel like they have to challenge the men.  If you don’t educated yourself and learn then you are gonna be pissed off and mad cause you can’t do certain things.  When you put these rags on you have a certain responsibilities. 

ME:                  How do your brothers in your club really treat you?

PRECIOUS:      We are very protected by our brothers.  If you ever disrespect a Property you will be handled.  It’s almost like disrespecting somebodies mama.  It’s gonna be a problem and there will be no discussion and no questions asked. We are valuable and we are valued by other brothers and our sisters and our nation

ME:                  How do you feel about not being able to vote?

PRECIOUS:      Someone complained about me not being able to vote, and I told

her that this is not about my civil rights.  Until Obama became President,  you probably didn’t vote! Lol  When it’s time to vote in  November, being Property doesn’t stop me.  Listen I don’t involve myself in the men’s issues.  I’m part of a men’s club so that is not my business and it’s not my problem.    They are the ones that take care of that,  We don’t vote and we are  taken care of regardless of whether we vote or not.

ME:                  So how does someone go about being Property if they are currently not Property of any club or a man?

PRECIOUS:      The best way to know about Property is to talk to a Property.   Don’t judge a book by its cover.  Do not go by what your neighbor tells you.  Go to a dominant club if you don’t know any Property.  I think coming from a man he can tell you some things about Property but is more valid if it comes from someone a woman who lives it.  A man doesn’t live it.  Go to one of the ladies.  Approach them respectfully don’t come with no attitude.  Like “if you don’t mind can I speak with you about Property?” There will be some things that she can tell you and things that she can’t.  I have spoken to women who I am the one and only Property they know.  But I am open. Do not just go off what you hear and even then you can’t go by what you see.  You may need an explanation. lol   It’s better to ask another Property if you want to know more about it. 

ME:                  Well my sister I want to thank you so very much for granting me this interview and being so candid and informative and putting a face on this misunderstood part of the MC world.  I respect you so very much and appreciate you for who you are.

PRECIOUS:      You are very welcomed.

----------------------------------------------------------

As Precious stated, being Property of “ain’t for everybody”, and if it ain’t for you

then don’t do it.  There are those who wear the PROPERTY OF designation on their cuts to show their unconditional love and support for their man and his MC and there are those of us women who wear it in our hearts.  At this time, I am in the latter group as my husband is the head of our home because he leads, he provides, and he protects  our family.  He submits to God and I submit to him.  If ever the day  comes that our current club decides to transition to a traditional MC or my husband decides to transition to a traditional MC, I will proudly and with honor wear “PROPERY OF ROCK” on the back of my Rags as another expression of my unconditional love, respect and support for him and his brothers in his club.

Thank you.

Due to the demand for the topic and its controversial subject matter, the Property series will continue with Pt. II and III if necessary. 

Thanks for reading as usual. 

   

Sucka MC Free: Marriage & The MC: Your Club or Your Spouse

Sucka MC Free: Marriage & The MC: Your Club or Your Spouse: By: Sucka Free MC staff reporter Jazzie Lady FAME Riders MC Cincinnati, OH  I feel I should introduce myself before I get into ...

Marriage & The MC: Your Club or Your Spouse

By: Sucka Free MC staff reporter Jazzie

Lady FAME Riders MC Cincinnati, OH

 I feel I should introduce myself before I get into the subject of this blog.

My name is Jazzie and I’m the VP of an all-female motorcycle club located in Cincinnati, Ohio. Our club was founded as a co-ed club in August 2003 and restructured as an all-female organization in March 2008. I have been a member of the club since December 2003 and was elected as VP in January of this year.

One of my prospects recently asked me, “Being a married woman in a club and on the set, how do you deal with that and how do you keep your marriage strong?” The prospect has been married for six years and I can tell that protecting her marriage is a big concern for her, as it should be. She even shared that one of the reasons she was attracted to my club was because she knew a few of our members are married. At the time I responded by advising what I feel works for me, but also told her that what works for me, may not work for others because as we all know, each relationship is different. So, what a coincidence when only a few days later, Preach told me I had been recommended as a guest author to write a blog on the subject of marriage on the MC circuit/community/set. More specifically, the blog is to focus on how does a person keep a marriage strong when they belong to the MC life and have a passion for it? I told him I didn’t know if I’m the candidate best suited to write a piece on keeping a marriage strong. I said that because this is my third marriage and we are still newlyweds, having not even been married for a year yet. I know that there must be other couples on the set whose relationships are strong and who have been together for a greater length of time, but I still feel honored that my opinion was asked for and I don’t mind sharing my thoughts on the subject.

First and foremost, you have to already have a solid and strong marriage as a foundation off the set before it will work on the set. As I thought about this topic, I kept going back to the fact that the ways to keep a marriage strong on the set are basically the same ways to keep a marriage strong off the set. There are no differences except for that everything on the MC set is magnified 100x. So arguments, compromises, differences, disagreements, and options (groupies) can appear larger than life on the set when the same circumstances may not have the same appearance off the set. My husband commented to me that the MC set will make a bad marriage worse and constantly test a good marriage. Well put, honey. That’s why having that foundation from the get go is important. But I also believe if you are really a part of being on the set, then this is your LIFE, not just your lifestyle and if that’s the case, as it is with me, then there is no separating the two. In my mind, I am always “on the set”.

I am spoiled because my husband is also always “on the set”.  He’s a President of an MC here in Cincinnati and has the same values regarding MC culture and life. I’m sure this makes our life and marriage much easier to manage than those folks who may have spouses who are not also a part of the MC circuit. We are blessed because we have the same mindset and the same commitment and enthusiasm for an activity that is an integral part of us and our relationship. That doesn’t mean we don’t face challenges because we do and again, I believe the same way to approach marriage on the set is the way you would approach marriage off the set. I found several sites online offering marriage advice (I know, corny right but I needed a template to initiate my thought process) and also had a sit down with my hubby before he and I agreed that the following guidelines were the best “bullet points” regarding maintaining a good and healthy marriage. Of course, I have tried to make it as relevant to the MC set as I can.

Show Love

Never ever let love diminish from your lives. So what if you are busy with work and constantly have club business to tend to? An OMC friend of mine stated that his mentor advised him to not be afraid to tell his Ol’ Lady he loves her and to show it. He said he was told to know when to go home and take care of home because if your house is not in order then this club life will never work out. I told my prospect who asked me about marriage, “Don’t let this MC stuff affect your home life”.  I know that’s easier said than done for some, but it shouldn’t be difficult if your family is always your first priority. I’ve seen many marriages fall apart strictly because of the MC set (mine included) and it’s not worth it. Keep your family and home #1.

Don’t Nag

Now this may apply more to those who have spouses off of the set. I recently wrote a Facebook post addressing this very issue. I have often wondered why so many women give their men a hard time about riding and being with the fellas if he belongs to a motorcycle club (or even if he doesn’t). Is it mainly women who don’t ride who constantly bitch when their significant other wants to turn a corner or go on a long distance ride with fellow riders? Or do those of us who ride also complain when our significant other wants to take a ride without us? And the same can be applied to the obligations those of us who belong to a club have to our club. We need to attend club meetings. Those of us who hold positions in our club may need to attend additional “officers only” meetings. We have club runs and other obligatory commitments. Do we want to be given the third degree or have an argument each and every time one of these events comes up and we have to walk out the door? No. You have to understand that every person has a limit of tolerance. Once you push a person beyond that level, trouble occurs. Pick your battles.

Respect

Does this really need an explanation? You give respect, you get respect. Don’t forget your spouse has an individual identity, despite the fact that you are a couple. This is a huge aspect between me and my husband. He and I have both been on the set for years and were familiar with each other before we started dating. We each had a mutual respect for one another as riders and for our roles in the MC community prior to becoming a couple. I know that the initial foundation of respect I had for him has been a cornerstone in our marriage. I would never contemplate speaking to him crazy or out of turn in anger as I have done in past relationships and I believe that deep rooted respect is one reason why.

Resolve Fights

Never ever leave fights or bitter arguments for the next time. Resolve your arguments and fights then and there. Do not hesitate to say “sorry” if it’s your mistake. I can honestly say that my husband and I don’t fight, at all. We don’t always see eye to eye on issues but we “agree to disagree” and leave it at that. I was dismayed and saddened recently when one of my brothers approached me about issues he and his wife were having. He shared with me that when he had left their home for the trip he was currently on, his wife refused to give him a kiss because they had been arguing. What? This man was traveling out of state on 2’s and couldn’t even get a goodbye kiss from his wife. I was shocked. How many of us (men and women both) behave in that manner? How would his wife feel if, God forbid, that was his last ride and he didn’t make it back home? The old saying for married couples is to never go to bed angry. For bikers in relationships, we should never depart one another’s company angry. Ever.

Communicate

Talk to each other as much as you can. It helps to bring two people closer and you get to understand each other better. A part of good communication is good listening. Actually listen to your partner and hear what they are saying. You can’t do this if you are already thinking in your mind how you’re going to reply to a comment they are making. This may be a reason why my husband and I don’t fight. We communicate effectively and don’t get frustrated with each other.

Be Faithful

This one is probably the biggest challenge to couples on the MC set. There are so many opportunities to NOT be faithful and it’s easier to have an indiscretion on the circuit. Hell, it seems like it’s almost encouraged to be a whore in the MC community. Men and women both are faced with groupies who throw themselves at a biker. Individuals are constantly surrounded by attractive folks of the opposite sex we are told to “network” with.  Add to that the code of “secrecy” and loyalty amongst bikers and their clubs and to many, it is way too tempting to not get a little taste from someone other than your spouse within the MC world. In order to keep a relationship alive, you have to have faith and trust in your partner. No one is perfect and you have to accept the other person just as he/she accepts you, with both the positives and the negatives. But if that faith and trust is ever broken, it can sometimes be damn near impossible to earn it back. And yes, it has to be EARNED, over time. Why risk losing that trust? Is a piece of ass really worth it? For me, if you have no trust, there’s no point in being in a relationship. Again, if your family and home is a priority to you, this shouldn’t be difficult or an issue.

Compromise

Everyone is required to make compromises at some point in life. It is not possible to have everything that you desire, at the expense of someone else. Again, this isn’t a big deal in my household because we are both on the set and usually have the same commitments that need to be met and can do them together. For those who may have to explain their continued absences to a partner at home, compromise can be a great tool to utilize. Do you really have to go to that meeting or party? And if the answer is yes, I am required to go to that party, why not take your mate with you? Of course, only if that works for you and yours. I know some marriages on the set that work only because the MC life is kept completely separate from the home life, to the point that no one on the set has ever even seen some folks’ husbands or wives. Or know they are married for that matter.  

Honesty

Honesty is another important aspect of maintaining a strong marriage. I never doubt or wonder about what my husband tells me. He was actually brutally honest with me before we got married. Considering we had both been on the set for years and knew the same people, and moved in the same circles, we decided it was best to air our skeletons and share with one another any information we didn’t want the other to potentially hear from someone else. You all can interpret that however you choose. And ouch! My feelings got hurt but I appreciated hearing what I heard from him and not from a third party. He told me he wanted me to know everything I needed to know and didn’t want anyone to be able to come to me and tell me anything I wasn’t already aware of. So I know ALL of his “dirty little secrets”…he only had a couple, and he knows about mine. We continue to approach our marriage the same way now. No one can come to me and tell me anything about my husband! Please don’t even try. That sense of trust in him gives me a calm, peace, and resolve I didn’t experience in my previous marriages.

Take a Break

Allot one day in the week that you will devote just for the two of you. It could be every Sunday (church, football game, or a movie) and it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant or too mushy. You have to continue to do the things that attracted your mate to you in the first place. Don’t ever take one another for granted. I read somewhere once that a good marriage is one where you fall in love with your spouse over and over again. Do whatever it takes to make that happen. And if you happen to be a couple who are both on the set, make sure you engage in activities together that don’t have anything to do with club commitments. I’m sure some folks who know me may think I breathe, eat , and live MC…that I’m “obsessed” with it but it really isn’t all I do or all I know. I have other hobbies and interests that my hubby and I engage in and it gives us a breather from being on the set. Being friends is extremely important. My husband is my best friend and I love being able to say that and mean it.

I have tried to break it down as simply as I could, what I believe is necessary to enjoy a drama-free marriage and still entertain your passion for the MC circuit/community/set. I can only speak on what I know of course, and these are points that are important and relevant to me. I know some folks may think I’ve missed the mark entirely and that’s fine. We all come from different circumstances and experiences. Ultimately, everyone has to figure out what works for their own household and peace of mind.

But know this, if you’re in a committed relationship or married, and act like you’re single, eventually you will be.

Jazzie